Can you build strength from loss? Yes, you can! Join us as we are inspired by stories of 3 coaching clients who were able to build strength from their recent personal losses during COVID-19.
*Names have been changed to protect client privacy
Loss of Job-Robert
Robert recently did a lot of soul-searching to jump into being a music teacher for a local middle school. He had received his teaching certificate years before, however, was offered a much better paying job working for the logistics industry. To keep the music alive, he taught music part-time to local kids and volunteered with his kids’ school music program. He was hesitant for a long time, however, last year he felt confident with money saved to leap.
Then, well, COVID happened and in June he received notice that they were cutting his (not yet tenured) teaching position., leaving 1 music teacher for the entire school. When I first met Robert, I could see this loss was profound for him. He left the logistics company he built years of seniority to follow his passion and now he felt his passion had failed him.
Through coaching, Robert discovered he could build strength and get back on his feet! He started spreading the news he was available to teach lessons online. Then, he started a local online jam session with his son and other kids online. Soon, more kids wanted to join in the jams and have lessons with him. Pretty soon, his schedule was packed and he was on his way to create his online music school! Now he’s working on marketing to kids in other states and working on creating an LLC.
He’s open to another teaching job if it presents itself in the future, but wants to see how far he can take his online music classes. Guess his passion didn’t fail him after all…see what happens when we stay open to possibilities!
Loss of Partner-Jenn
Jenn’s partner decided to break up with her when her state-issued mandatory quarantine. They were dating almost 4 months and Jenn was feeling pretty good about their relationship so far. She felt connected to her partner and couldn’t understand why this was happening at such an unpredictable time.
Well, Jenn kept pressing with efforts repeatedly ghosted. In our coaching sessions, we brought up the idea that “No answer is an answer.” Something not easy to hear when you once had a strong connection with the person who now is blatantly ignoring you. So 2 weeks later, Jenn discovered it wasn’t quarantined after all. Right there on Instagram was a picture of her past partner with a new person in her life, filled with little heart stickers and without masks. Hmm?
So in coaching, we talked about what Jenn wanted in a partner and her top attribute was honesty. She realized that this past partner was not honest with her and had another relationship brewing behind the scenes. She felt misled and catastrophized that quarantine would ruin dating for her altogether. Then, once she was able to build strength, she saw dating could get creative. She put herself back out there online and has had 1-2 virtual dates a week. She finds these dates are less pressure and kind of fun to get to know someone before actually meeting them. Now that’s turning lemons into margaritas!
Loss of Self-Talia
Talia titles herself as a Stay at Home CEO to her husband and 4 precious (she will laugh at this) children. Talia’s life pre-COVID was just getting organized as her youngest child starting attending elementary school last year. Through coaching, she was starting to feel confident enough to manage all the kids’ schedules, her husband’s travel schedule with the possibility of her going back to work part-time as a nurse.
This was a big deal to Talia. She loves being a mom, however, she misses helping others as a nurse and was just starting to network with other nurses to get a feel for the job market. Then, BOOM! the dark cloud of COVID-19 comes over her household and suddenly she is a teacher, a chef, and everything else in between. Being pulled in all directions, she felt she was losing herself when she was just finding herself. The time during the day when the kids went to school she spent organizing everyone’s life and also carved out time for herself to exercise and brush up on her nursing skills.
Was Talia able to build strength amid the chaos? You betcha she was! In coaching, we worked on her being able to set firm boundaries with her family in the morning and night hours. In the morning, she put the older children to work in putting together simple breakfasts for everyone. This way she could work out and get organized for the day. At night, she put her husband in charge of bedtime so she could lock herself in the guest room and continue studying and networking online for nursing. She joined some nursing groups on social media and has a handful of job offers when her kids return to school. You go, girl!
Building Strength from Loss
When there’s a loss in anyone’s life it can feel stressful, sad, even traumatic. Loss hurts. It’s usually a different path than you expected and maybe didn’t want to go down…like ever! If you find yourself in the face of loss, know you can build your strength!
Here are some tips:
- Connect with others-Don’t try to work through a loss alone. Find support online, through friends and family, or with a Life Coach. Find out what worked for others in similar situations and brainstorm ways you can build your strength too.
- Get creative-It’s easy to feel trapped during a loss. Get creative, find ways to be inspired and think outside the box like Robert did after his job loss. What can you do with what you have? What would it look like it? Who can you bounce ideas off of?
- Be patient-Be kind to yourself. Healing and recovering from loss takes time. Be patient with your timeline to build your strength. If you’re ready to jump in, go for it! If you need some time to reflect, do that! Trust yourself and trust that you will build strength enough to move beyond this feeling of loss and into something amazing just around the corner!
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