Have you been resilient this year and grown through the cracks of 2020?
If not, now is your time to bloom!…or at least plant yourself a seed for 2021. I won’t judge if you’ve had some rough moments this year that you’d rather not remember. We all have our moments. Now is the time to let those rest in the past so we can begin to blossom in 2021.
What does being Resilient mean?
Being resilient simply means recovering quickly through difficulties. It doesn’t mean you do not cry, that you are never weak or always “perfect.” In fact, the people I’ve worked with who truly are resilient are the ones who allow themselves to express their sadness or grief to heal and cope.
It’s all about how you come out on the other side of hardship. Being resilient is not easy, however, it is necessary to grow.
You and I both know our cracks and we both know you are meant to grow and blossom leaving those cracks beneath you.
The cracks, our hardships are important…
- They provide space for our roots to expand so we are strong.
- They allow water to seep through so we can grow taller.
- They allow the sun to shine down into the depth of our inner being so we have a vibrant color to display beyond our darkened roots.
Boy, that was a little more poetic there than I intended! Our cracks are what make you who you are today. Living your most authentic life is not ignoring these cracks, but embracing them. When you embrace them, you become resilient. So whatever storm you weather next, you can weather it with the confidence that it will pass, you will get through it and be ready for what comes next!
Resilience in 2020:
This year we have all been resilient in many ways. We have learned to cope with wearing masks, not attending events, and providing for our families is not so normal ways.
Here are my top 3 ways I have personally discovered resilience in myself and my clients:
- Family: Support is paramount to coping, nonetheless coping with a global pandemic! Coming together in whatever ways we can by providing food for families in need, being an ear to listen to or those window visits to just say hello have meaning. They show us that we have a support system. Support is something of a comfort. When times are hard, we can find resilience in knowing our families are here for us to support us in different ways.
- Flexibility: Well, I think we have all had no choice but to be flexible this year! It’s how you cope with the flexibility that aids in building resilience. In coaching, we call this a “pivot.” I’ve had to pivot so many times this year with the pregnancy, bed rest, remote schooling, and hiccups to getting this new website launched my head spins thinking about it! If you table your anxiety about change and allow yourself to find a new flow when situations change, you will find that resilience to be freeing to your mental space.
- Routine: This saved me this year with kids. With all the craziness going on in the world and things changing all the time, the routine was so important in our resilience for 2020. My daughter knew that in the morning we get dressed for school even if we don’t go in, that her breakfast would be given, and an alarm would be set for school. At the end of the night after dinner, the routine is to clear the table and get ready for bed…these little routines throughout the day minimized anxiety when we knew in the middle of the day we would need to be resilient because that’s where the day changed, well, changed daily. Knowing what to expect before and after helped minimize anxiety and give us a sense of calm at the start and end of each day.
New Ways to Build Resilience for 2021:
- Fresh perspective: Optimism isn’t natural to any of us. Our brains are literally wired to defend ourselves, to protect from harm for our literal survival. When we take a step back and can look at things differently it changes how we feel. So if, for example, you drop a whole pan of lasagna on the floor-step back! Sure it sucks it dropped, however, there’s nothing we can do about it now…so let’s laugh at our butterfingers and announce to the family “A quick announcement from the kitchen. Tonight’s dinner is brought to you by takeout!” Now your nice Italian dinner night at the table is transformed into takeout, pajamas, and game night! Surprise! If we dwell on the lasagna it takes us nowhere. Give yourself a fresh perspective when you find yourself faced with a difficult or not so ideal situation.
- Meaning: Finding meaning in things will help you build resilience for 2021. It can be something small like the message you send by stopping for a moment and giving your partner a hug or the meaning behind sending a friend some flowers. Or maybe you lose your job and find meaning in it that now you can make your side-hustle a full-time thing. When the going gets tough, find a meaning for it that is in your favor, a way to look at it that is positive and relevant to your hopes and dreams.
- Rituals: In 2020 we developed routines, in 2021 I think we need rituals that help us heal and grow. Maybe for you, this looks like a weekly facemask and bath or a walk twice a week. Perhaps it’s 20 minutes every day to meditate. Or maybe it’s a family game night or a bedtime story (with kids or without). It becomes a ritual when you do it the same day/time daily, weekly, or monthly. What is something you want to do? Put it on the calendar now for 2021 and make it happen!
As you can see, being resilient is something you are probably already doing. You are growing through the cracks to become your brilliant self.
Take one day at a time and keep reminding yourself that you are stronger than you believe and are meant for more.
