We’ve all had that bad day. You wake up, trip over yourself, spill the milk, click “send” before you’re ready, or start the zoom without pants. You may just want to slap yourself in the face that day. I get it. Bad days happen and we need something to get us through!
Here are some tidbits on how to navigate a bad day and overcome it when it’s at its worst.
Blame Does Nothing
Repeat after me…”blame does nothing.” Often, the first reaction I get from clients is that there must be someone or something to blame for the bad day. This is a natural reaction, with its primary purpose to take away your control. Blaming something or someone else doesn’t make it better, so let’s not give it the attention it doesn’t deserve.
Blame it on a planet being in retrograde, lack of sleep, or the day itself! Off-days suck, and we have to live with them. So when you catch yourself starting to blame this and that, don’t waste your energy. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that blame does nothing…except perpetuate those negative feelings and stewing in sadness is no way to live.
Blaming does not justify your reaction, it just heightens all the negative feelings swarming in your brain, eew.
If we can look at blame differently for what it is, mainly a reaction that keeps us from positive energy, we will be able to break the cycle of a bad day and re-write a better story. It’s the little things that can kill a day as a bill comes in the mail, the dog runs out in the road, a makeup tutorial gone wrong and now you look like the Joker…quit the blame and learn to re-write that bad day.
Be Your Own Hero
Remember this…people don’t “make you feel” and no one can control your mind yet…until Elon Musk figures that out. In the meantime, you are in control! When our inner self-talk tells us our day sucks, that we suck and permeates other negative thoughts it is us who has the ability to change the stories we tell ourselves. So before you blame yourself, someone else, or your horoscope, take control and put on that cape!
Here are some tips to become the hero of your bad day:
- Language: What you say to yourself matters. If you’re saying, “Geez, you’re such as asshole for doing that!” it’s going to feel worse than, “You made a mistake, they happen. You will recover from this. Let’s give me a clean slate right now to make things right”
- Accept Responsibility: What role did you play in this bad day? What are the facts? If you did screw up, admit it, ask for an apology, or ask how you can contribute to the solution. “I totally screwed up and am sorry. What can I do/say to get this back on track?” A little responsibility goes a long way.
- You are Not Your Day: Whatever is happening on your bad day is not you. It doesn’t define you, it doesn’t control you and it is not your destiny. Be kind to yourself and encourage yourself that you are more than whatever is happening at the moment.
- When Life Gives Lemons: Make lemonade. Make a margarita…or just squeeze lemons on life’s eyes! You’re in charge here. What can YOU do to facilitate a better day? How can you turn it around? Who can help you? Be the solution, be your own hero.
Re-Write Your Ending
Some people dive right into the worst outcomes. Others pretend it’s not happening as a way to cope. If the day is bad, you can, through perspective give yourself a different ending. All this takes is a little imagination and perspective.
Here are some ways to a happier ending:
- Humor: Is there anything about the day you can laugh about? Try to find something, I swear this works. I’ve had some bad days where I’m like, “where are the cameras, is this for real!?!” if you need help, ask someone to send you a funny meme or GIF.
- The Bright Side: Even though things may feel crappy now, perhaps there is a larger purpose. Sometimes we need to fail before we succeed or something needs to happen that allows something better to unfold. Even if you don’t know what that is, you can remind yourself that something better is in the works.
- Find Meaning: What has this negative experience given you? Something to work on? A new perspective or purpose? Is it a reminder of something that’s not serving you? Can you do something with this? When we can find meaning through our hardships, they can remind us of our strength or a way to find meaning in a mess.
- Write it Out: Writing can be therapeutic, particularly if you literally re-write the ending to your bad day. Use your imagination or keep it real, it is another reminder that you are in control of how you feel. What’s a better outcome? What’s the best outcome? You are the author of your story here.
At the end of this day, it’s important to unwind your mind and body. Take deep breathes to unclench that jaw, slow down your heart rate and calm your body. Listen to relaxing music, take a bath or just chill. Tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate to start again in a different way in a different headspace.
A bad day doesn’t have to start and end on a negative note. Allow your day to end in peace for a new tomorrow. You deserve a clean slate.
Tomorrow is a better day! xo