Do you focus on the good and positive or solely the negative? Living in negativity is no way to live, like that depression commercial where the little gray cloud follows that lady everywhere she goes. Let’s lose that negative juju and start seeing see the good around us.
You know that saying, “you are what you eat?” Well, the same goes for “You are what you think.” So if you believe you will fail, tell yourself you are not good enough, etc. you are destining yourself for failure. In the psychology world, we call this confirmation bias. Basically, it means you are setting yourself up to your thoughts and unconsciously lead yourself to that place. This could also be translated from your self-talk to the other people you hear in your head…parents, bosses, jealous siblings, bitches from the past, etc. You may have a tendency where you alter information from the past or present, other people’s opinions just to confirm them. Do you do this?
If you find yourself saying, “yeah right, something good won’t happen to me” just know that you are really self-sabotaging yourself from what you want to actually happen. Be careful as what you think over and over even if you don’t want it, can become a reality.
Aside from our self-sabotagers we can the superstitious people who self-sabotage first, but when something good happens instead of their prediction, they believe it’s a fluke or just luck. Some people will believe something bad will happen unless they work extra hard, do unnecessary things or redo work because at the last hour they believe everything sucks. People that I have coached have done things from believing they must wear a lucky suit to interviews to professionals redoing entire projects the night before they are due.
Compulsivity makes it almost impossible to focus on the good because they generally work on unconventional ways to avoid the negative, believing mainly if they don’t do something, it will not work out in their favor. This gives negativity a lot of power in the long-run and is that what we want? Heck no! So if we want to keep ourselves in a positive mindset why do we keep these superstitions alive? Do we have proof that they work or is it just preparation meets opportunity?
Only you decide where to put your energy.
Leave superstitions and self-sabotage aside so you can celebrate the positive momentum when something positive happens, whether it’s small or big, the size doesn’t matter.
I’m not saying fake it to make here, but hey! Putting a smile on your face might just set a trajectory towards what you really want!
How to Focus on the Good
Now that we’ve moved on from our self-sabotage and superstitions we can begin to focus on the good. This is 1part gratitude, 1 part curiosity, and 2 parts positive mindset.
Gratitude: To focus on the good we need to be thankful for all that we have. From the air we breathe to the little things like the internet you have to do work or that you have a great relationship with your brother. Find gratitude where you can from material to non-material things…there is always something to be thankful for and find the good in. Start with the small things and work your way up to the larger ones over time.
Curiosity: When things don’t go as planned, rather than jump right back into the self-sabotaging/superstitious mindset, get curious. Wonder gives you a chance to find the positive, to make meaning of mistakes, and create ways to bring positive messages of change and growth for your future. Here’s an example…
-“I wonder why this happened for me” instead of “I wonder why this happened to me”
Positive Mindset: Words are everything, even the ones in your own head. Once you start to focus on the good, you can start to shift all the areas of your life. You’ll find you start to downgrade the irritating moments and upgrade your self-esteem with more positive messages.
-“I’m such a loser” to “I’m human and I’m proud of myself for trying this out”
The labels start to disappear and are replaced with intentional messages that resonate with your personal values and goals. If you have kids, you can practice this with your communication with them. Instead of pointing out everything they are doing wrong, instead, make an effort to point out what they are doing right. You will be able to watch with an outside perspective just how powerful it is to focus on the good.
To sustain the ability to focus on the good and sustain possibility, there is only 1 rule here and that is to…
Believe in yourself
Download the free self-love prompts below to get started. The hardest person to work with is yourself. Start reinforcing the positives, focus on the good and be kind to yourself along the way. When you feel the negativity bubbling up, take a step back and rewire your thoughts to a place of gratitude, curiosity, and a positive mindset. The world isn’t always fluffy unicorns pooping glitter, but there is good to be found within ourselves that is untapped and waiting to transform our well-being.
Focus on the good and let the good find you…