Last weekend was my birthday. I have a weird relationship with birthdays as I get older. It’s like that awkward friendship you have with someone where you will always be good friends, you like hanging out occasionally, but you don’t want to get too close to them because you’d rather spend your time elsewhere.
This year I felt the same, however, more subdued due to yet another quarantine birthday. Last year I was supposed to go on a couples birthday weekend with my husband and that has still been postponed. I honestly feel like I’m frozen in time still in 2020…maybe next year I’ll have that birthday I was looking forward to. It will be filled with champagne…or perhaps my favorite pineapple kombucha from the quarantine 15 I gained (well really, quarantine 50 I gained from being pregnant with twins, haha).
Right now, I am keeping a positive mindset for what’s in store for me this year as I get older.
I definitely do not feel my age despite the first 1 gray hair I’ve plucked this year (my friends tell me they got their first years ago, so maybe my age is just catching up to me). I’ll say I feel younger…wiser than my 20s, so let’s say I feel like 30ish with the maturity of another decade of life experience, and emotional security under my belt. I think this next year will be a year of transformation for me health-wise and creative-wise. After all, I’ve been on fertility drugs for the past 7yrs. I am ready to get my body back, connect more at the moment with my kids, and refresh the relationships in my life who wish me a happy birthday and truly mean it.
The older I get, the more I realize it’s the little moments that make for the best birthdays. That time to reflect, connect, and be true to me.
This year when I blow out that candle, I’m making a wish for all of us that we have health, happiness, and the ability to create space to share our amazing gifts