Most people don’t turn to coaching because they need someone to tell them what to do…they turn to coaching because they need someone to hold them accountable. Let’s face it, we know where we want to be and what the end goals are, we just aren’t sure how to get ourselves there.
Coaching is more accessible than ever, so what holds people back from coaching and holding them accountable?
What Holds People Back
- Fear: Change is scary, even if it’s for the better, so people sit in old habits and stay where they are comfortable.
- Motivation: Coaching takes work, effort, and time to reflect. Some people are not motivated enough to put in the work needed to face their fears. Even when they have friends who are benefiting from coaching, they will hold themselves back and feel behind rather than taking the first step to make an appointment and begin to transform their life into something better.
- Priorities: It’s easy to lose sight of your goals. For example, I was working with a client who wanted to start working out but made excuses not to. She would tell me she “had” to do certain things like grocery shop on Saturday morning. It wasn’t about excuses, it was about her priorities. If working out truly is important, she could do it before the grocery store. Download a Hit List here to help yourself prioritize what’s important.
It’s the choices we make, moment to moment…
What holds you back? Do you make excuses? The more time you take to know yourself, the better you can get ahead of yourself to not sabotage working towards your goals.
Here are my top ways to hold yourself accountable…
What I mean by this, is to alter your self-talk to a positive mindset. So instead of, “I can’t do this” you are saying, “I can do this!” Maybe you say, “I always make a fool of myself on dates!” to “If I relax and be myself, I can have fun.” If you find yourself having a hard time jumping into constant positivity then try a mantra. A mantra can be a word or phrase that keeps you motived. Something you can write on a post-it note and stick places you will look to remind you “you got this!” (feel free to use that one).
We don’t want to create a negative false reality before we give ourselves a chance in the wild. Be sure your mantra is aligned with what you want, how you want to feel, who you want to become, or what you want your reality to be. Words are sometimes all the power you need to change your life.
Outsmart Your Distractions
What is your goal? To get to it, we need to outsmart ourselves. We can do this by being specific about what steps we take to reach the goal and avoid our distractions before they find us. To learn more about goal setting click here. This means if you know you want to eat healthier, then you make sure those girl scout cookies take work to get to.
If you know when your friend Emma calls, you tend to get distracted for hours in chat, don’t answer your phone until you’ve accomplished a step towards your goal. You know yourself best…trust me…you’ll be sneaky, I’ve seen all the tricks people use to self-sabotage or justify not reaching their goal. Make a list of all the ways you can outsmart those distractions-whether they are people, social media, your cat…only you know what you let get in your way!
Give Yourself A Gold Star
Remember when you were little and you worked so hard for those little gold stars? The same concept works for adults! Habit tracking is easier than ever with digital calendars, apps, and smart watching tracking our data and outcomes. Every time you accomplish a small step, give yourself that gold star! This could be a sticker or a checkmark on the calendar. Really pat yourself on the back or give yourself encouraging words. Or do all of the above!
I recommend having some sort of visual so you can track the habit you are trying to make or see your progress. Acknowledging your progress can be both satisfying and give you the motivation to keep going. After, you can look back and see that you are in fact capable of change.
Adapting to change, new habits or steps to meet big goals can seem daunting. However, once you have a partner, suddenly your goals seem more attainable. We are social beings and no matter how introverted we are, having someone to share in the small wins and say encouraging words does more for our psyche, providing a validation that we ourselves cannot give.
Be honest with your partner. Let them know what you need from them…daily check-ins? Motivating text messages? Scalding when you give in to distractions? An accountability partner doesn’t always have to be a life coach…it can be a friend, your spouse/partner, or even your kids! Find the right person who will hold to your goals because they care.
Believe In Yourself
To commit to any change or goals, you cannot hold yourself accountable without believing in yourself in the first place. You must have faith in your abilities and believe they can become a reality if you allow them and yourself to do the work. Think of belief as a muscle…the more you flex it, the more power you give yourself to hold yourself accountable and become a better you.
You got this!