So when does one find their voice? Is it as a teenager when you are figuring out who you are? Or is it in your 20s as you discover yourself amongst the rest of the world?
Finding your Voice
I think as young as 10 you can find your voice. By then you have an idea of what you like, what you don’t like, and are just starting to pave a small path for your future in the small ways that you can as a child. Everyone’s upbringing is so different…nature vs. nurture…maturity and education, it’s all relative in the scope of personality, opportunity, and exposure.
Upbringing, values, and the choices we make all help us find our voice. It’s often the loudest who are heard and we see that. Some of us have no desire to be loud and choose instead to be silent. And then there’s everyone in between who is silent when they need to be and loud for particular occasions.
Finding your voice is a journey. It’s all of those experiences that aid in our evolution into adulthood. How you find it is through growth and discovery of your internal and external worlds. It takes time to find this voice, understanding how to use it and what it can do for you.
Here are some tips to help along the way:
- Communication style: How do you typically communicate? Are you more passive and keep to yourself? Passive-aggressive that leaves room for miscommunication? Aggressive in that you always have to have your way? or assertive where you can communicate directly while also be open to listening to the other side?
- Energy Flow: Here, I’m talking more about Introversion vs. Extroversion. Where do you put out energy and receive energy? I considered myself an Extraverted Introvert meaning ideally I like to be alone, however, I get my energy out of being around others. What about you?
- Relational Compliments: Are you someone who is friends with a lot of people or just a close few? Are the people closest to you loud where you don’t need a voice to be heard? Think about the closest few you hang around…are you able to have a voice around those people? If not, that may be worth exploring to see if you are avoiding yourself or if you prefer not to have a voice altogether…what’s that about? Could be something to dive into with a coach.
Words are everything. Once we say them, write them, or think them into existence we give them power.
Asking for What you Want
Once you figure out what your voice is and what it is trying to say, you give yourself a platform to express yourself. Think back to that time when you were 10, what did you do for fun? Get creative here in expressing yourself and being able to ask for what you want.
If you are in any sort of relationship, that may mean expressing your needs more assertively. It could be asking for flextime as a professional to be more available to your children. It could be in your own head, telling yourself you need time to re-connect to hobbies, time to think, or time to discover
Once you find your voice, there is no going back. Figuring out who you are and truly knowing yourself is an incredible journey. Your voice is sacred. Your voice is personal. Your voice is yours to do amazing things and say things that attract what you need to thrive on this planet. Find that voice and let it be heard!