How to Build Your Self-Esteem

The love you need the most is from you! Read this post to learn some tips on how to build your self-esteem to find a more confident you!

One thing many of my coaching clients have in common is work needed on their self-esteem.  I’m not surprised by this.  All the filters and messages out there tell us we aren’t good enough.  Thin enough. Fast enough. Smart enough. Strong enough. Sexy enough. Smart enough. That’s enough!

This post is going to help you reclaim some positive self-esteem!  All those messages you hear are BS and we need to put ourselves in a bubble of healthy self-esteem to avoid them.

Here are some ways I recommend to build your self-esteem for a happier and healthy you!


Know Your Limits

Start with the content you consume.  If you found yourself comparing yourself to others, or thinking negative thoughts stop following those people or reading that.  If you need more positive messages, follow me by clicking your social platform of choice at the top of this page. You are in control of what you see and how it affects you, no one else.

This goes for your critical self when you are looking in the mirror.  If your attitude goes negative, critical, etc it’s time to do what your mama told you and say something positive or not say anything at all.  


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Check your facts if that critical voice keeps popping up.  For example, if you say to yourself, “I feel so fat today,” remind yourself that fat is not a feeling!  Language is everything that brings us to our next self-esteem tip…


Positive Self-Talk

The way you talk to yourself and what you say matters.  This means if you find yourself talking to yourself in a way you would never talk to a friend, it’s probably time to check yo’ yourself! You owe it to yourself to provide encouragement and positivity!  So stop talking to yourself like a jerk and searching for little things, internal or external that keep negativity flowing.  Remind yourself that “perfect” is an unattainable goal.  

Instead, search for the positive things, and reframe imperfections as a beautiful and unique part of you. Keep a written journal of positive affirmations that provide you with a reminder of positivity and kindness.  Say them out loud, say them in your head, say them all the time until you really believe them!  If you need some help with this, download free self-love prompts here.



Being mindful in terms of self-esteem means increasing your awareness of the moment and accepting whatever happens.  This means both positive and negative thoughts. 

One way to do this is to imagine each sentence of self-talk as a white fluffy cloud.  If it’s positive, hold it there, think about it, hold onto it if it’s something positive that brings on good feelings.  If it’s negative, watch it pass by and let it go, as those thoughts we know aren’t going to serve you.  

The more you are in the present, the more you will feel in the moment and less like you are on a cosmic hampster wheel anxiously scampering to nowhere.  The point is to let go of judgment, just be, accept, and focus on the good. 



Your body and mind do much more for you than you think.  That’s why it’s so important to take care of both with positive self-esteem.  We need to appreciate every breathe, every thought that helps us accomplish living our lives in this very moment.  Thank yourself for being you, for taking care of yourself, and doing what you can.


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Celebrate the little things, forgive the other things and you’ll be better for both.  Something big doesn’t need to happen to celebrate anything just as something really bad doesn’t need to happen for you to forgive yourself.  Appreciate everything, all your efforts no matter where they led you.  You learn, you grow, and be grateful for what you have and what you do.



Lastly, our self-esteem cannot be positive without support.  Connect with your values daily.  When you find yourself going back to vanity-based self-talk like “I need to lose weight,” instead remind yourself that being happy and healthy is more important to you than losing 5 pounds.  Have your friends, family or chosen family catch you when negative self-esteem rears itself to remind you that you are better than that and can correct it.  

Surround yourself with support and let others know when you need a compliment, encouragement, or anything else in between.  

Remember, in the end, your self-esteem starts and ends with you!  So be positive and keep it positive, one moment at a time.


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